21 Weeks

Because I was late writing last week, I've already updated my blog a bit. But I still want to keep to my intention of writing once a week. So let's see what I can write about...

This week baby is the size of a banana. Both Dan and I are grateful for a size comparison to something that has a mostly consistent size. For almost a week now, I've been dealing with a terrible cough and cold, which has been taking it out of me. Emma is developing her nerves and sense of touch. Also, her inner ear is developing which is given her a sense of balance! Such a strange thing to consider. I have learned that her pancreas is also growing and producing hormones, which may take some of the hormonal pressure off of me.

In this week's profile photo that Dan and I took, I can see a significant bump where she is! It's like, "yep, there's Emma!" And my favorite tidbit so far this week is that my daily movements rock her to sleep throughout most of the day. And! I may start to notice my hair growing in thicker than before. I can definitely tell that on my legs! Geez. I've never been one to shave all the time, taking great relief in my light, thin leg hair. But lately, that has not been the case. It definitely is making me more self-conscious. We'll just see how long my baby bump allows me to shave comfortably!

I think this will be a shorter blog this week. It happens. Especially when I'm feeling puny. So the last thing I want to share right now is that this coming Saturday is my cousin Michelle's wedding in Baltimore. I'm really looking forward to seeing family and officiating the wedding. Fun stuff! So hopefully, if I feel better and have the time, I'll have more to share next week. Off for now!

20 Weeks

Well obviously the most important thing on my mind today is that we found out the sex of our baby! We're having a girl! We're pretty sure her name is going to be Emma Rose. The appointment on Wednesday of this week was not my favorite...by a long shot. We waited for over an hour before we were brought back and then Emma was not cooperating with the sonographer. In addition to all her measurements, they needed four different views of her heart. She was sleeping so soundly that they actually had me get dressed again and jump up and down for several minutes before we tried again. Eventually, she got checked out, but not before every other person had already left the building except for us and two staff members. They showed us out a side door because all the others were locked up! By the time we left, I was feeling exhausted and frustrated. Especially because we arrived at the office around 3:15 and didn't leave until 6:15! I was very grateful when Dan pulled me into a warm, loving hug in the parking lot and just held me for a minute. He said sweetly, "We're having a girl" reminding me of the big news we had found out. It slowed me down and helped me appreciate the moment. It felt especially poignant because that's the feeling we both had - that it was a girl. The ultrasound tech was so funny. She said, "Here's a leg. (she typed in a "leg" label)  And here's a leg. (she typed in a second "leg" label)  And there's nothing in the middle! It's a girl!" We looked at each other, holding hands, both of us with tears in our eyes. It was such a special moment. 

Afterward, we headed across town to my parents' house. Dan's parents were there too. As I shared before, to prepare for the day, I had made two baby hats - one pink, one blue. We walked up to the house and I had the pink hat behind my back. Everyone was in the living room when we arrived. I pulled around the pink hat and there was a great, wonderful response. Dan's mom had really been wanting a girl. Although she told me she had a feeling we were having a boy, I really think she was just trying not to get her hopes high for a girl. All along, my mom said she didn't have a feeling one way or another, but when we told her it was a girl, she seemed surprised. Like she may have thought it was a boy after all. We all went to dinner downtown at The George. Neither Dan nor I had ever been there before. It was a nice restaurant with good food that seemed fitting for a special occasion. Now if we ever go back there, we'll have the story of "We came here the night we found out we were having a girl." A moment at dinner that particularly made me smile when my dad was talking about the name we picked out. He cracked me up as he kept up a running commentary, almost to himself. "I like the name Emma...it's old-fashioned sounding...but also kind modern...and it'll be easy for her to say...and easy to spell..." On and on he went with me smiling and listening.  I have been grateful that the responses to the names we've picked out have been positive overall. Especially because what she introduces herself with throughout her life! We figured, too, that giving her the last name that we are, that naming her something simpler and more classic was a kind and loving thing to do.

Since Wednesday, I've been trying to get used to saying "her," "she," and, most importantly, "Emma." I know I want to reread Jane Austen's Emma before she arrives. This is one of the many sources where we appreciate the name. As for Rose, not only is it a lovely and natural sounding name, but it has several connections as well. My aunt who passed away five years ago was Rosemary. The stuffed animal I was gifted from my Godfather when I was two, I named Rosie. And there are a couple of people I know whose first or middle names are Rose and they are silly, thoughtful, creative people. I think it's going to make for a lovely name combo! 

We've purchased a few items for her knowing that we're having a girl. Some onesies and a couple bibs. I think we've also decided on a color scheme for the nursery. It include bright pink, light pink, and turquoise combination. It's been fun updating our Amazon registry with items that complement that scheme. We've also already been told that there are plans for a baby shower in the works, likely sometime in October or November. It's wonderful to imagine celebrating Emma! Plus, it will be nice to receive wonderful things that help to prepare her space in the world.

This weekend was full of birthday celebrations as well. On Saturday, we celebrated the 7th birthday of a friend's son. And then on Sunday, we celebrated my cousin's son's first birthday! Both were fun! I especially liked being around my family as we enjoyed the gifts, food, and whole experience of celebrating our current youngest family member. It's such a strange thing to imagine my cousin and I bringing in the next generation of family. Plus, his son and our Emma will be about as far apart in age as my cousin and I are. We played together a lot growing up. I hope Emma and Parker enjoy being around each other too.

I'm now officially halfway through the pregnancy. It feels crazy to imagine! I'm glad we have so many weeks left though. Especially because of all we have to do in the house. We made a lot of progress going through things this weekend. We are getting very willing to purge things, especially books. We were able to rearrange the furniture in our bedroom some, which is especially good because there's a piece of furniture that's currently in the nursery that will need to be moved into our bedroom. Details, details! The point it, progress was made! I feel like we have forward momentum. Maybe next weekend, we can do even more with it. Then the NEXT weekend, we're going to be in Maryland for my cousin's wedding! Yay! Fun times with family!

For me this week, I'm feeling more confident that the flutters I'm feeling are Emma moving. Next milestone will be for her to move in such a way that Dan can feel her move too. My app says she could be around 10 inches long now. At the ultrasound this week, she was measuring right on point! We had the scan when I was 19 weeks and 6 days. All of her measurements were coming up between 19 weeks 5 days and 20 weeks and 1 day. "Even her head" Dan was ready to point out, which made me giggle! A strange fact is that Emma already has her lifetime's worth of eggs in her ovaries. That is craziness! She's also sprouting teeth buds beneath her gums and is developing her lips, eyelashes, and eyebrows! The strangest thing I've read is that she might already be having REM sleep and could be dreaming. Dan asked the extremely interesting question, "I wonder what she could dream about..." What indeed?! No answer came to mind, but I'm fascinated! Also this week, I've decided that I'm ready to get a pregnancy pillow. My back has been particularly achy this week and I'm using more and more pillows at night. Now that a fourth pillow has been added to the mix, the thought of one pillow to replace the wild configuration I'm making is significantly appealing. So with my next paycheck will likely come this fluffy purchase. I'm imagining increased comfort on the horizon and it's very appealing. One other thing I've been contending with this week is the frequency with which my left ankle is swelling. It seems to be having trouble in the same places that I sprained it earlier in the year. As a result, I've been wearing my ankle brace several days. It's been making a difference, but it's a bit cumbersome. But I'll do what I can keeping in mind my motto of "better for baby." That's been helping me with several things, but most especially with the shots I have to give myself several times a day. "Better for baby" over and over. But maybe now it can become "better for Emma." Emma Rose. I hope we can surround her with loving and empowering things. In that respect, Dan's discovery of a website called "A Mighty Girl" that has excellent toys, music, clothes, and books that challenge traditional gender roles. Yeah! I hope I'm growing a little feminist in there!

19 Weeks

I'm now 19 weeks pregnant, only one week from being halfway through my pregnancy! I had a lot of fears this week because I haven't really been feeling anymore flutters or hints of movement. I had a doctor's appointment this past Tuesday and I was hoping that, at that time, my fears would melt away and I would be filled with reassurances. And that did, indeed, happen to a degree. I think I'll always feel worried. But as the doctor was searching for the heartbeat, and reminding me it could take a bit, we heard a "thwump" sound over the monitor. The doctor laughed and said, "Well that was a kick!" It made me laugh to think of the baby pushing back as the doctor was moving around trying to find his or her heartbeat.

I haven't been nearly as weepy this week. On the contrary, I have been significantly more short-tempered. My fuse has been non-existent some days. I snapped at a coworker when I felt she was needlessly lecturing me. I snapped at my mom when she was trying to give me advice when I wasn't looking for any; rather, I was just trying to update her on something. I got annoyed at multiple people's comments and remarks throughout the week. Basically, I have been in the mood I deem "not fit for company." That's a choice I make. It's interesting, because when I watch movies, usually in the "chick-flick" genre, I envy the bitchy best friend trope. I'm jealous of the girl who speaks her mind, unfiltered, despite its responses. The closest I've been to not wearing my verbal Brita has come on the very rare occasions I drink more than a couple drinks. But more often, I am more deliberate in what I say. And what I don't say. So I chose to be around people less this week so I would have less moments to feel guilty and frustrated about. I think it was a good decision. 

Dan and I have also alternated feeling under the weather this week. My worst couple of days were ones where I officiated outdoor funeral services in this dreadful heat. In fact, one day reached the obnoxiously high heat index of 108°. During that service, my place was in the sun and there was no breeze. I drank water whenever I could during the service and made it until the very end, when I was hugging the family. At that point, I got lightheaded and dizzy. I promptly got into The Blueberry (my car) and sat in the air conditioning for several minutes, drinking water and munching ice. When I felt safe enough, I headed home for a cold shower to continue the cool down process. It took quite a lot out of me and I spent the remainder of the day resting and recovering. I think I did well caring for baby and myself. And I know it was ridiculously hot, but I think I was outside for around half an hour. So much recovery for such a short amount of time!

About baby this week: Baby is now around six inches long. I learned that my app can compare Baby to multiple objects, not just fruits and vegetables. As for that particular comparison, Baby is described as being the length of a zucchini. I find that rather unhelpful because zucchinis come in so many different sizes. But some of the other comparisons are a crepe suzette, a Gameboy, and a hedgehog! So silly! I'm definitely going to keep checking these other themes; Parisian bakery, fun & games, and weird-but-cute animals respectively. I've also learned that Baby is developing a waxy coating that will protect him/her from the amniotic fluid and help Baby move down the birth canal. This apparently means I might notice some changes in my own skin. There are warnings about making sure I wear enough sunscreen because of the increased chance of skin changes and sensitivity. Baby's brain is developing more, especially those parts that control the each of the senses. Baby is growing hairs on its tiny head. Plus, his or her coordination is increasing as well.

I'm also beginning to notice the bottom of my stomach rounding out more and looking more full. Starting off my pregnancy overweight, I wasn't sure how my pregnancy would make me look for a while. I do look pregnant. But the part of my stomach that people want to touch is not full of baby yet. Baby is beneath that, pushing up the rest of my middle. But it's interesting and emotionally moving to finally notice a change. And I'm sure there are plenty more to come.

Next week when I write, I'll be able to share the sex of our baby! So exciting! This week, I crocheted both a light blue and a light pink hat to be prepared and help share the news with our parents. Four days until we know!