Womanhood and Moving Forward

As I was continuing my reading of The Feminine Face of God last night, I was struck by a couple passages I wanted to share here.

The first: "We had to ask, What is the face of God that can be revealed through women? We proposed to look for the answers to this question by studying the life stories of thirty women across North America who were recognized in their communities as sources of spiritual inspiration."

The question at the center of the authors' research is very interesting. What IS the face of God that can be revealed through women? I'm so curious about the results they found because they've alluded to similarities among the responses. I hope to connect with some of the feelings and thoughts that were shared. Their intention was to interview 30 women, but in the end they interviewed more than 100.

As for myself, my first thoughts are that my own spirituality and femininity is tied up with nature. I wonder if this has something to do with our menstrual cycles naturally lining up with the moon cycle? Very clearly, there is a connection and physical pull tied in with the rhythm of nature.

When reading that they were planning to interview women who were "recognized in their communities as sources of spiritual inspiration" I was brought up short. I work as a hospice and hospital chaplain everyday. But would I be considered a source of "spiritual inspiration" within the community? I just don't know. It made me realize that I would like to continue the steps within the Unitarian Universalist Association to be "fellowshipped," which is the process by which ministers in the UU Church are endorsed by the larger association. It's what ordination is in many other church organizations.

To have this support and endorsement would make me feel like a larger part of the faith tradition of which I've chosen to belong. It's the difference between being a Chaplain who is Unitarian Universalist and being a Unitarian Universalist Chaplain. The problem is, I have a difficult time trying to navigate the process that I'm coming at sideways. I wish I could have an advisor and guide as one does in college to help sort through the requirements of particular degree programs. But if I don't take any steps, I'll never get anywhere. So I've reached out to a couple of people regarding writing me letters to help me sidestep a part of the process which I'm hoping will be deemed unnecessary considering how many years I've been in ministry as a Chaplain.

The last set of thoughts I want to get out for this blog post is about my need to connect with feminism and my own personal womanhood. I'm pretty sure it has to do with my desire to become a mom and my uncertainty whether or not my life path will include that role. Do I believe that women can be wholly feminine without being a mother? Of course! But I find that this is an expression of womanhood of which I hope to be a part. In the meantime, I want to connect with what it means to be a woman without being a mother. I was born into this group and want to more fully embrace what that could mean. Moreover, I want to more intentionally become a part of the spirituality of womanhood. Which brings me to the other concept brought forth by The Feminine Face of God.

The authors explain that at the beginning of their time together trying to map out their research for the book, they "walked outside and sat down opposite each other under the protective branches of a large oak tree. And there we did something we were to do almost every day for the next several years of our collaboration. We closed our eyes, sat in silence, and waited." I don't always feel connected to myself and my spirituality in silence, but I do think it's worth making time to settle into to deep thinking, listening, and feeling of the sacred. And the idea of doing this with someone else seems worthy of the vulnerability and openness that would inevitably be required.

More thoughts to come!

Love and Connecting with Other Women

I belong to the Unitarian Universalist Church of Wilmington. Today in our church service, the Alto and Soprano voices of the choir offered "The Rose" as sung by Bette Midler. This is my parents' song and it was played during their wedding ceremony many years ago. Upon first listening to or reading the lyrics, it may not sound like something traditionally in the "our song" genre. It begins, "Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed. Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed. Some say love it is a hunger, an endless aching need. I say love, it is a flower and you it's only seed." My parents are each in their second marriage. Both had a very emotional and heart-wrenching break ups in their first marriages. But this September they will celebrate 32 years together. They snip at each other, they get frustrated at times, but ultimately they love one another and have stood by each other with love, faithfulness, and hope.

Some people experience a perversion of love. Something that drains them and tears them down rather than encourages and bolsters. I sincerely hope that all people, at some time or other, will be able to feel what it means to be loved deeply, authentically and wholly. And though this songs addresses the trenches of life, it also shows that love, in its most persistent nature, can withstand bitterness, anger, and cold. "...the seed, with the sun's love, in the Spring becomes the rose."

But what made this singing experience even more special was that it was sung by all women, myself among them. It began in unison and I think our voices blended together so well; it was light and ethereal. Then with each verse, harmony grew until three notes were weaving around one another. I personally was in the group singing the descant notes and I had a sense of floating above the melody. But even more than all this, our phrasing was beautifully together. Holding notes for the same length of time, gathering volume on crescendos, and breathing together as one. And it all felt so natural. I wonder if any of the other singers were as touched by our offering, because I felt so connected to each of them. It was a lovely and beautifying moment. I was so grateful to have been a part of it. And it helped me feel further connected with my womanhood, a theme of mine recently. I began The Feminine Face of God by Sherry Ruth Anderson and Patricia Hopkins this week. The overall intent of the book, as I understand at this time, is connecting with the feminine nature of spirituality as well as the feminine aspect of god. What about our spirituality is unique to us as woman and how can we grow and help one another have a deeper, more authentic relationship with our faith, spirituality, and life? I'm very interested in it and am even more encouraged to read it because one of my sister friends is reading it again for the second time. 

These experiences from this week and today made me want to process further in the way I only seem able to via blogging. So here I am, after yet another multiple month absence. We'll see what becomes of this, but hopefully I'll continue the book and will feel empowered to write and uncover more of my thoughts in this forum. 

What has been soul-nurturing for you this week?