Rivers of Wheat: Shock

In the wee hours of the morning on Thursday, the world experienced a loss. Kim Sibbach, a 26-year-old who has been battling breast cancer for the last three years, died. Kim and I grew up in the same town. We danced at the same studio. Our moms worked together for decades. They're best friends. Kim and I were not close, but I knew her. And even peripherally, this loss has tremendously been in my head and on my heart. I have an array of feelings: devastation, anger, sadness, concern, sympathy, heartache, worry...

I hate that we live in a world where people like Kim get cancer. That she won't be able to grow old and become a journalist like she dreamed. Or fall in love, or decide whether she wants to become a mom...I hate that some of her grandparents outlived her. I hate that her mom only has one child now, even though Stacy is fabulous. I hate that Kim was only a year younger than me, and her death seems to be making my mom think a lot of "What if it had been you..." thoughts.

Even though she was so young, Kim left an amazing legacy. To process her fight against cancer, she kept this blog: http://myleftone.blogspot.com/2008/08/diagnosis.html . In it, she expressed herself in quirky, intelligent, thoughtful, emotional ways. Her visitation and funeral were packed. She left behind a family that loved her, friends who adored her, a job where she will be missed, and countless memories from everyone whose paths crossed with hers.

Some things about Kim: She was grumpy in the mornings. She wasn't touchy feely. She liked hippos. She was an amazing writer. She loved her job and co-workers at PTs Grille in Wilmington. She was a Pirate at ECU. She lived. She loved. She made a difference in this world by being here and being herself.

Kim's life and death have caused me to think about how I want to live my life. How I want to remain optimistic even in the midst of difficulty. How I want to become healthier and hopefully live a long life with the people I love. How I want to connect to others and develop relationships built on respect, kindness and hope because those connections can go a long way to making our world a more loving, peaceful place.

Her funeral service was so touching. But it still just felt...wrong. Wrong that there we were, at her funeral. But it was personal and full of love. I pray that her family and friends are surrounded by love and support and over time...feel peace.

Kim's Aunt Myra wrote this today:
"We often think one person can't make a difference. Kim, you showed us that we can, one person at a time, change the world around us. Anyone who took the time to look around at the over 400 people who showed up last night or at the overflow crowd at the church today would have seen your legacy - the love you created. I know you would want us to keep the love alive. Love one another, commit random acts of kindness, be true to who we are, a child of God here for one purpose - to make the world a better place. Any less would dishonor you and the God who created us. 'Til we meet again."

Here are a few other tributes from her family and friends:

I can hear her now..."This cloud there, that cloud here." "This color is not me." "Hey BIG GUY, here is the list of things I'm gonna need." "Is it me or are these wings itchy?" You wanted her, you got her! And you are lucky... -Joseph Pate

Dearest Kim, I will never forget you. When I think of you I can't help but laugh and cry at the same time, so many happy memories...sitting on the bus together riding to and from school every day until we finally got our cards. Seventh grade when you and Sandy Pham came over to my house and we made those cardboard people for Ms. Russell's class. And even though now everyone knows you as the biggest beach bum ever, I remember back in the day when you hated the beach so much and I couldn't ever convince you to come with me because you hated the sang getting in your shoes. Thanks for sharing your home and your bed with me all those times when we were younger and my parents were out of town...you are the best! Andeven though you have moved out of the body you borrowed for a few years, I know you're still here with all those you love and who so adore you! -Julia Bland Segovia

I regret every missed opportunity to tell you how much you meant to me...how your friendship enriched my life. I love you. Always have. Always will. -Megan Bennett Irby

Thinking about you today. You were one of the most beautiful and absolutely the most energetic person I ever met. I will never forget your smile, your hugs, or our crazy ghetto weekend in g-ville. -Shelly Fransisco

Hey! Thanks for being at the beach tonight! Thank you for letting me know you were there with that push of the wave. It was good to see your smile light up the sky. It's still so hard to think you aren't here anymore. But feeling you there helped. I love you Kim. -Stacy Sibbach

Below are a few pictures of Kim. Look through them. Say a pray for her family. Remember her legacy of love.