New Chapter and a Vocation of Love

This morning I woke up with a greater sense of purpose than I typically have as of late. I'm approaching a new phase in my life. This "in-between" time didn't last as long as I expected, and somewhat feared.

This has been my life for the last couple of months:
I completed my Chaplain Residency at New Hanover Regional Medical Center on August 20th. On August 21st my dad's sister passed away. She had been sick for a while. I thought I was more prepared for her dying, but it rocked me worse than I could have imagined. The following couple of weeks were spent in harsh grief, helping my parents go through her apartment, and trying to be there for my dad. Meanwhile, I continued to try and look for a job. I had some interviews, but nothing really came of them. I didn't even tell my family about some of the interviews, because the outlook of so many didn't look good, and therefore I was less torn down than I would have been having to share the "I didn't get the job news" repeatedly.

I did interview for a Hospice Chaplain position, but weeks went by and I didn't hear anything. But, it turns out there had been some internal inquiry about the job and eventually, I was offered the position. I begin on Monday. Right now, I'm working my last on-call shift at NHRMC. I can really feel the end of this particular chapter closing. It's an odd feeling, but I'm glad I'm aware of it.

I have mixed feelings about going into hospice again. Hospice is a wonderful gift. It's an incredible, loving service and I will be proud to be a part of it again. But Hospice is also a narrower ministry. Not narrow in depth. But narrower in that it is singularly focused on end-of-life. Hospital Chaplaincy was a bit more broad. While still crisis ministry, there was hope and healing mixed in. Parish Ministry is the ministry I have discerned seems to be the best fit for me. Someday... But in the meantime, I am gratefully surprised that I can still don the current title of "Chaplain" having supposed I would have to temporarily relinquish a ministerial title.

And that's what's going on with me.

In broader, national news, there have been several suicides among gay teens that has led to a growing awareness of bullying both in schools and in society at large. Ellen Degeneres, in particular, has been asking many of her guests about their own experiences with bullying. These deaths and the treatment of gay youth has sparked in me such an indignant anger that I have been spinning my wheels trying to think of things to do. Facebook has been a helpful outlet for me. I can share with this larger social network my beliefs that Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, and Allied persons deserve love, care, compassion, and equal rights. I have been told from more than one person on facebook that I have my facts wrong and that "The Bible says...". But as a person with theological training, I believe the Bible was written in a particular social context and historical time. And though I absolutely believe that it has wonderful relevance for many in the present, I do not think it should be used to devalue people who were born non-heterosexual.

The local University in my town had a rally and vigil this week sponsored by the GLBTQIA (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex, Ally) Resource Office. I created four new posters for marriage (and life!) equality. I was grateful to unite with so many people and to feel like I was DOING something in response to all the hate that led to so many suicides.

I was also so proud of my Unitarian Universalist faith, because not only were many people from my local congregation present, but our minister was as well. She wore a clerical collar, easily distinguishing her as clergy in the masses. She had been asked to say a prayer. Prior to doing so, she shared that her experience from a bully was from the head of her religious group, who taught that people "like me" she said, were unnatural and wrong. She told the crowd that that was NOT so. She prayed not only for the people are are/were bullied, and the families of those who have lost or taken their lives because of hate, but also for the bullies. After her prayer, several people came up to her...one girl said something before collapsing into a hug. I wondered how many people had hurt this young girl. And further, how many of them represented a religious point of view. My minister was there to show her love. And this girl wasn't the only one to receive it.

I wonder how many people are unaware that there is a liberal religious faith like Unitarian Universalism that thinks that all people have worth and dignity, regardless of their sexual orientation. I felt a renewed sense of calling as I watched people approach my minister and ordination mentor, ask her about her church and receive her love and support...I wondered about the healing that began at the rally.

I absolutely want to become an ordained minister. I want to be someone whose life and love represents not only a larger religious organization, but also something Holy. I believe in a loving Spirit. I call it God. I call it the Universe. I call it Love. Religion has been used to hurt and divide. I want people to feel loved for exactly who they are. May it be so.

May all my liberal Christian ministers and friends have their loving voices heard. May their lives and their ministries shower people with love and acceptance. And may their care and openness increase in volume. I add this to acknowledge that Unitarian Universalism is not the only loving religious home for people who are GLBTQQIA. Gene Robinson, a bishop in the Episcopal Church was one minister who spoke up in youtube's "It Gets Better" campaign. You can hear him here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPZ5eUrNF24


Here are some other links of interest:
Fort Worth City Councilman, Joel Burns sharing his "It Gets Better" story: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax96cghOnY4

The Trevor Project: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Personal account from my CST colleague, Casey Crosbie: http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/caseygcrosbie/1/1286387828/tpod.html?utm_source=FB&utm_medium=FBMTB&utm_content=FBStreamPostTitle

Mormon leader gives Anti-Gay sermon after suicides. Here's a link to write an open letter in response, and to view the sermon: https://secure3.convio.net/hrc/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=945

Human Rights Campaign: http://www.hrc.org//


I'm still looking for loving responses to the hate. And I shall continue to look, act, and love.