A Restful Day & Geographical Ponderings

Today I deliberately slept in. I didn't go to bed until about 1 and slept in 'til 11. It was wonderful. I reheated a lovely stuffed pepper, watched the latter half of a TV Movie, and am now listening to Harry Potter 7 while typing this blog. Later today I'm going to a movie for the first time in a long while.

Today I'm also feeling jealous of a friend of mine. K just arrived in Berkeley, CA, about to begin the next phase of his life in Grad school there. I really miss California. I'm going to type out my honest thoughts right now, though not really being sure what they are. So here we go...

I don't think living in Wilmington, NC is adventurous enough for me. When in California, I really loved living there. I loved telling people in NC, "I live in California." The shock and impressed look on the people's faces made me feel proud. Yes, I did move all the way across the country from where I grew up. Yes I did begin a life elsewhere. I felt so awesome! Now...When people ask me where I group up and I say, "Here." Blech. It feels awful. Because it's not readily clear that I moved so far away and explored the world outside of Wilmington! Which I have!

I do want to move. But I also feel tied to my family. I like having the random days hanging out with my mom. I like being able to be a part of family things. But...but...I still don't want to be here. When we were planning to move, I really thought I would love it here. I truly did. But I think it took moving here for me to realize that this is not where I want to settle down. I'm not sure I want to settle in general.

Where do I want to live? California is still a huge part of my heart. I also really love Oregon. But, as I said above, I feel too tied to family to move that far away again. It makes me feel resentful. I think I would like to live in the mountains of North Carolina. Perhaps somewhere around Asheville. I definitely would love to live where waterfalls are easily accessible. I'm not really sure where else might be on the list. I often take the quiz on findyourspot.com, but am not really sure about whether or not I'd want to move to any of the places that come up.

Ugh. Feeling unsettled and ready for adventures!!