I have been craving to go to the NC Mountains. But then I realized that, more than that, I have wanted to live in the mountains. I worry about the winters, because I have never lived in the mountains. In fact, I've never lived in a place where it snows consistently.
I have a friend who has been trying to lure me to Brevard, NC. His bait? Four distinct seasons, more waterfalls than I've ever been around, a wonderful UU Fellowship, etc. The idea of kayaking and hiking in the mountains is the largest lure. It makes me feel like I would be connected to my soul deeply.
The mountains is where I felt the most clear and wonderful connection with god, the universe, and my small but significant place within it.
I feel crazy though. Like I'll never settle down. Like I'll never be satisfied. I also feel like I'm being selfish. I've lived away from my family for 8 years. I've been able to live a life with my husband. We've actually been more connected to our families emotionally. I do love living closer, but I can't say that living in the same town will be the right decision.
I obviously have not given this much time to process yet. I am open to staying here...for now. But I'm going to be looking for things elsewhere. I'm planning on visiting the mountains many times, especially as I have a close friend there, to make sure my heart and soul are as stirred as they once were. I want to grow, live, and develop. I want to feel connected to nature, god, life, and the universe.
Le sigh. We shall see...
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
New Phase
Since my last blog, my husband and I decided to move back across the country to be closer to our families. So now I'm writing from North Carolina. I'm back to writing my morning pages and hope to continue with my Artist's Dates and my continual tasks.
First goal: I want to draw at least 3-4 times a week. On our drive across country, I drew every day, but one, even if it was just a doodle. I think that was a reasonable goal. The "even if it was just a doodle" part gave me the freedom from pressure. I drew out a poem and picture for a friend whose house we stayed at on the way. It was so fun to work out an idea with her and create it right there.
So today's goal: Journal, draw, take a few pictures. Reasonable, doable, full of possibilities.
On another note, I look at the blog immediately beneath this one: "Butterfly" and it makes me sad. I left my job at my hospice for the move. I just found out yesterday that the women I drew the butterfly for passed away. It's hard to be thousands of miles from the people who understand the specialness of this woman. Kay. Her name was Kay. She was a goofy, beautiful lady from Texas and although she had lived in California for over 20 years, her Texas drawl was still noticeable. She will be missed and sweetly remembered.
Rest in peace, Kay.
First goal: I want to draw at least 3-4 times a week. On our drive across country, I drew every day, but one, even if it was just a doodle. I think that was a reasonable goal. The "even if it was just a doodle" part gave me the freedom from pressure. I drew out a poem and picture for a friend whose house we stayed at on the way. It was so fun to work out an idea with her and create it right there.
So today's goal: Journal, draw, take a few pictures. Reasonable, doable, full of possibilities.
On another note, I look at the blog immediately beneath this one: "Butterfly" and it makes me sad. I left my job at my hospice for the move. I just found out yesterday that the women I drew the butterfly for passed away. It's hard to be thousands of miles from the people who understand the specialness of this woman. Kay. Her name was Kay. She was a goofy, beautiful lady from Texas and although she had lived in California for over 20 years, her Texas drawl was still noticeable. She will be missed and sweetly remembered.
Rest in peace, Kay.
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